Hold the Mayo

I like mayonnaise. I don't mean I like to take a spoon and eat it from the jar. No, I mean I like mayonnaise as a condiment. It's my condiment of choice on any sort of poultry sandwich. It's a vital component of my tuna fish salad. I do like mayonnaise -- IN MODERATION.

I live in the metropolitan Atlanta area. I moved here in 1988 from Fort Worth, Texas. There are always some regional adjustments to make such a move. But one that surprised me was the way so many people in Atlanta use mayonnaise, not so much as a condiment, but as the primary purpose of the sandwich. Frankly, such soggy creations grossed me out.

Whenever I ordered any sort of sandwich with mayonnaise, I was often opening it up after receiving it and scraping off as much mayonnaise as I could. The mayo that was left, that is what had soaked up into the bread, was as much or more than what I wanted. I would have a pile of mayo on my plate sufficient to make a couple of more sandwiches.

The first few times this happened, I wondered if the sandwich had been made by a teenager on his first job. Later, I observed experienced adults slathering the mayonnaise onto the bread like a bricklayer applying mortar. There was so much it squished out the sides when you picked it up. That did it for me. Then and there I started saying, "Hold the mayo!" whenever I ordered a sandwich. I'll occasionally ask for the mayo on the side. But most often, I will substitute mustard. They do a better job of moderating that.

I still use mayonnaise at home. But as far as dining out goes, I don't trust any Atlanta area sandwich makers near me with the stuff. It's a shame their mothers never taught them the difference between a condiment and the main event.

That's my two cents.

Wade Houston
September 5, 2007